His bronzed torso is ridiculously ripped – and will, once again, cause a shift in the acceptable minimum standards for the male physique

So much for the dad bod. David Beckham, who turns 50 this year, has released pictures of himself modelling his new bodywear collection for Hugo Boss. Bodywear, if you’re unfamiliar with the term, appears to mean underwear. In the corresponding ad clip, Beckham returns home for the day in his vintage Aston Martin, Bond-style, but he can’t wait to rip off his sharp suit and slouch around in a leather armchair in nothing but his tighty-whities. He has set the bar very high for middle-aged dads who like to relax by sitting around drinking in their pants, Homer Simpson-style. If you feel at all self-conscious about your soft, squishy, beer-induced centre, Beckham’s new line of smalls will not help.

In recent years, the dad bod seemed to be on the verge of widespread public acceptance, even cautious celebration, and a lot of us were congratulating ourselves on our timing: it was not uncommon for men of a certain age to emerge from the first pandemic lockdown looking like a heap of overproved sourdough. We felt ourselves, however unintentionally, to be in the dad bod vanguard – more oven-ready than beach-ready; soft, saggy and proud.