You don’t have to run screaming from this experience, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Focus instead on how you’ll handle the attraction from here

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I’ve been in a happy relationship for eight years. I have always felt extremely lucky to have met someone so suited to me so young, and many friends and family have remarked on what a special connection we have.

This sense of security was rattled recently when I met someone towards whom I felt an immediate and strong attraction. The attraction was not just physical. This new person and I had many shared interests and conversation chemistry. I felt an intense desire to keep them in my life, hoping the attraction would die down. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work like this – the more I talked to them, the more the feelings developed. After exchanging long messages daily, it dawned on me that I was having an emotional affair.

We exchanged emails and arranged to meet. One friend quipped that if we got married it’d make a magnificent story

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By the time I’d realised my Kindle was gone, I was already on my next flight. The year was 2014 and I was treating myself to a trip to South Africa before starting my first graduate job, but this was not an auspicious beginning. I’d left the Kindle in the seat pocket in front of me during the 14-hour Sydney to Johannesburg leg and I was horrified.

My e-reader was my constant companion and comfort, living under my pillow after I read myself to sleep every night. I had spent months curating a selection of my favourite books, and now it was gone for good. Still, I was almost in Cape Town, and I couldn’t let it ruin my holiday. To me, South Africa was both foreign and familiar, the place of my parents’ birth but not my own.