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I feel guilty for having an emotional affair. How do I continue in my long-term relationship? | Leading questions

You don’t have to run screaming from this experience, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Focus instead on how you’ll handle the attraction from here

I’ve been in a happy relationship for eight years. I have always felt extremely lucky to have met someone so suited to me so young, and many friends and family have remarked on what a special connection we have.

This sense of security was rattled recently when I met someone towards whom I felt an immediate and strong attraction. The attraction was not just physical. This new person and I had many shared interests and conversation chemistry. I felt an intense desire to keep them in my life, hoping the attraction would die down. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work like this – the more I talked to them, the more the feelings developed. After exchanging long messages daily, it dawned on me that I was having an emotional affair.

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© Photograph: MAXPPP/Alamy

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© Photograph: MAXPPP/Alamy

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