The country’s government is upbeat about the economic prospects of the growing number of windfarms, solar parks and industrial complexes but others warn of ‘green colonialism’

For generations, Alfonso Campos’s family has raised sheep in the grasslands of San Gregorio, a tranquil area in Magallanes province, in the far south of Chile’s Patagonia region. Now, he says, his farm will be encircled by three massive containers of ammonia, a desalination plant, a hydrogen plant, gas pipelines and hundreds of wind turbines.

“If the ammonia leaks, it will poison everything,” he says. “The noise of the windmills will also upset the animals, and the landscape will be turned into an industrial desert.”

The machine sought to claim both a transaction fee and a percentage of my change. Why would anyone agree to this?

One night, late in the last century, I was with some friends walking home in the middle of the night. We were living in Cricklewood, on Shoot-Up Hill – which remains my favourite home address. Anyway, a police car, blue lights a-flashing, came to a halt in front of us. A couple of police officers leapt out and asked us to jump up and down. You what?

They asked us again, but in a tone suggesting it was less of a question than a command. Up and down we jumped until told to stop doing so. The cops thanked us for our trouble and, jumping back into their vehicle, explained they were on the hunt for some lads who’d just robbed an amusement arcade. In the morning we asked each other if this had really happened. And 35 years on, I’ve just asked one of the blokes I was with if it really happened. And it did. I don’t think I’ve rummaged for coins in my pocket since without thinking about this incident.