The dog race to City Hall was inexplicably contentious during this election cycle after cryptocurrency fanatics descended onto the polls and started buying votes to sway favor towards their frontrunner.

“You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to work out that someone from the gang probably watched the program at some point. They must have realized the rich pickings to be had from the area."

The vehicle circled around to chase the children down and the driver fired a gun at the kids, police said.

The victim was the father of one of the competing athletes from Vista Ridge High School who died protecting his wife and son from the 25 lb hammer, police said.

The little robot that could was not harmed and is back to serving up pho to its hardwiring's content.