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My cultural awakening: a Turner painting helped me come to terms with my cancer diagnosis

Fear and feelings of intense vulnerability caused me to retreat into my shell, until I saw myself in an unlikely feature in one of the British master’s prints

My thyroid cancer arrived by accident, in the way life-changing things sometimes do. In May of this year, I went for an upright MRI for a minor injury on my arm, and the scan happened to catch the mass in my neck. By the following month, I had a diagnosis. People kept telling me it was “the good cancer”, the kind that can be taken out neatly and has a high survival rate. But I’m 54, and my dad died of cancer in his 50s, so that shadow came down on me hard.

My eldest son was doing A-levels at the time, so we didn’t tell him at first. I felt as if I’d stepped across some irreversible Rubicon that you hear about happening to other people, but never imagine will actually come for you.

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© Illustration: Martin O'Neill/The Guardian

© Illustration: Martin O'Neill/The Guardian

© Illustration: Martin O'Neill/The Guardian

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