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The hill I will die on: PDAs on the morning commute are never acceptable | Michael Akadiri

Spare me the hugging, kissing, sitting on each other’s laps. What’s the excuse so close to breakfast?

First and foremost, let me say: I love love. I’m in love – I’m happily married with two boys. I’m surrounded by love, because most of my friends and family are in long-term relationships and have kids of their own. Heck, I even love it when strangers find love. Since its inception, I have watched every episode of Pop the Balloon or Find Love – a US reality dating show hosted by Arlette Amuli. While it’s entertaining observing how treacherous the dating market is, I’m more thrilled when two people match and commence their own love journey.

However, for all my appreciation of love, public displays of affection (PDAs) on the morning commute should be punishable by prison. I’m talking hugging, kissing, even sitting on each other’s laps – all of the above are abominable to watch. In my dictatorship, those who committed such crimes would be locked up without due process. The British tonguing police (BTP) would ensure that perpetrators were swiftly caught. They would not pass go, they would not collect £200. They would go directly to jail.

Michael Akadiri is a standup comedian and resident doctor. He embarks on his Don’t Call Me Uncle tour across the UK and Ireland in 2026

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© Composite: Guardian Design/Getty Images

© Composite: Guardian Design/Getty Images

© Composite: Guardian Design/Getty Images

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The Guardian Footballer of the Year Jess Carter: ‘I remember not wanting to go out’

England defender publicly confronted racist abuse at the Euros and ended 2025 a title winner with club and country

The Guardian Footballer of the Year is an award given to a player who has done something remarkable, whether by overcoming adversity, helping others or setting a sporting example by acting with exceptional honesty.

Jess Carter has spent her life grappling with when to hold back and when to speak up; wrestling with being naturally herself, embodying the characteristics her parents instilled in her of being open, honest, vocal and confident, and subduing herself because, while society values those traits, in a black woman they can be viewed negatively.

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© Photograph: Fabio De Paola/The Guardian

© Photograph: Fabio De Paola/The Guardian

© Photograph: Fabio De Paola/The Guardian

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Blue: Reflections review – a clunky rehash of their Y2K boyband heyday

(Blue Blood International/Cooking Vinyl)
The four-piece try to tap into modern pop’s deep well of nostalgia but come off like Westlife on a bad day

‘Blue’s in the house / Oh it’s party time!” muse the fortysomething man-band on Souls of the Underground, the penultimate song on this seventh album, and the fourth since their 2011 reunion. The British four-piece are keen to take us back to their early 00s heyday, a time of Met bar table service, where the ladies have “a little prosecco” and the guys have a “nice cold beer”. Musically, it’s a clunkier approximation of their (comparatively) harder-edged hybrid of pop, hip-hop and R&B; think 2002 “low ride” anthem Fly By II but on a Megabus budget.

It makes sense that they would want to tap into modern pop’s deep well of nostalgia, but rather than recalling what made Blue originally stand out, Reflections often feels like a tribute to other evergreen boybands. For most of the album’s 13 tracks, the tempo is mid, with the dreary, Westlife-on-a-bad-day Candlelight Fades a particular nadir. The windswept One Last Time and The Day the Earth Stood Still are attacked with gusto, but both feel like Patience-era Take That, while the pleasingly epic opener The Vow is hindered by very un-Barlow lyrics: “You’re a sweet child of mine / You’re like a grape to my vine.”

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© Photograph: Publicity image

© Photograph: Publicity image

© Photograph: Publicity image

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NFL playoff race: Seahawks and 49ers meet with NFC’s No 1 seed at stake

The final week of the regular season delivers a winner-take-all clash in the NFC West, while Houston surge, the Rams slide and the race for the No 1 draft pick tips toward farce

Seattle Seahawks (13-3) v San Francisco 49ers (12-4)

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© Photograph: Steph Chambers/Getty Images

© Photograph: Steph Chambers/Getty Images

© Photograph: Steph Chambers/Getty Images

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‘I need to help’: Barnsley woman’s rabies death inspires dog-vaccinating mission

Robyn Thomson immunised thousands of animals in Cambodia after shocking death of her mother this summer

It was just a scratch. Among all the feelings and thoughts that she has had to wrestle with since the summer, disbelief is the emotion that Robyn Thomson still struggles with the most. “You never think it would happen to you,” said Robyn. “You don’t really think it happens to anyone.”

Robyn’s mother, Yvonne Ford, had shown no signs of illness in the months after returning from her holiday in Morocco in February. She had spoken highly of the country and its people, and recommended it for future getaways. She had not realised that a seemingly harmless interaction with a puppy while sitting in the sun would cause so much damage.

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© Photograph: Robyn Thompson

© Photograph: Robyn Thompson

© Photograph: Robyn Thompson

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Chess: Magnus Carlsen wins two more world speed crowns despite mishaps

The Norwegian, 35, overcame elite fields despite time forfeits after knocking over pieces in critical games

The world No 1, Magnus Carlsen, recovered from a series of mishaps to win both the World Rapid and Blitz crowns at Doha, Qatar, last weekend. The global victories were the 19th and 20th of the Norwegian’s illustrious career and may give him the edge in the longstanding debate on whether he, Garry Kasparov, or Bobby Fischer is chess’s all-time greatest master.

Peerless endgame technique was central to the 35-year-old Norwegian’s blitz success. He won a knight ending with Black against Nodirbek Abdusattorov from a position which elite grandmasters would normally have instantly agreed to halve, and also scored in other endings of extraordinary subtlety.

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© Photograph: Noushad Thekkayil/NurPhoto/Shutterstock

© Photograph: Noushad Thekkayil/NurPhoto/Shutterstock

© Photograph: Noushad Thekkayil/NurPhoto/Shutterstock

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