Nigel Farage’s team is down to four MPs, with the suspended Rupert Lowe denouncing it as a “protest party led by the messiah”. Let’s not waste time wondering who’s wrong and who’s right

I have one primitive but foolproof tool of political analysis. Trying to balance competing claims in any matter of party discipline – unless it’s a party of which I am a member, in which case, of course, I have already picked a side – I think: “Does it sound as if anyone’s done the kind of vetting even I would know how to do?”

Rupert Lowe has been suspended from Reform over claims of bullying and physical intimidation, which he says are without basis. He went on to say, on X, that he was “disappointed, but not surprised” by the allegations, which has a conspiratorial whiff. He has already said the allegations are false, so if he is not surprised to hear them made, it surely indicates that he thinks he is dealing with the kind of people who will expediently exploit any kind of nonsense.

I had a go at recreating the duchess’s extravagant platter – and at upwards of £30, I have to wonder if she’s trolling us

Mothers have spent the week cursing the Duchess of Sussex for her beautifully arranged fruit plate, the showpiece of her new Netflix series, With Love, Meghan. The substance of the criticism did seem well founded. On a rustic wooden board, Meghan had fashioned a rainbow from the following: what looked like three punnets of strawberries, two of raspberries; blueberries, three kiwis and a pineapple; several satsumas, nectarines, a banana and an unspecified number of dried rose petals.

Meghan’s aim was to “create wonder in every moment”, but who is this rainbow for? Are you trying to kid four-year-olds that they’re literally eating a rainbow (in which case, surely some clouds made of squirty cream would have been in order?) Or are you trying to remind later millennials of Pinterest circa 2011? It’d be good to know, before we drop £31.40 on this preposterous amount of fruit.