A sip in the glass and the rest in a little carafe, please – and make sure it’s ice-cold, otherwise it’s an absolutely degenerate drink

There is very little in life as elegant as the martini. You select vodka or gin. But really, you’re an adult, you select gin. A whisper of vermouth, then it’s chilled. A twist of lemon is added or an olive and her brine, then it’s served. And it’s served – we pray – with a sidecar.

All martinis should have sidecars. You know when you get a martini and there’s only a sip in the glass and the rest is in a little baby carafe sitting on ice? That’s a sidecar and it should be the law.

Josh Sharp is a New York-based comedian. His show, Josh Sharp: ta-da!, is at Soho Theatre, London, from 9 to 28 February