After several people close to me died I became obsessed with fitness and gripped by panic attacks. But then a ska cover taught me life doesn’t have to be serious all the time

My anxious disposition means I think about death a lot. But a cluster of people I loved dying in 2023, and most of them unexpectedly and within a few months of each other, was enough to shake my nervous system up pretty significantly. Five funerals is too many. The first was my nan: she was the family matriarch. The oldest person in the family, so there was a level of acceptance among the sadness. But soon after it was her son, and then her granddaughter (my cousin). The latter two were shocks, completely upending my nervous system, one compounding the other. From there, two more followed. Death was all around. It wasn’t just a part of life by that point – it was something to expect soon and often.

At first I seemed fine. Despite concerned friends and partners asking if I was hiding anything, I didn’t think I was. But soon I retreated from fun, becoming very fixated on things like my resting heart rate and body fat percentage. I skipped social events for high-intensity interval training sessions followed by the sauna followed by meditation – not a bad thing, but not a balance, either. I cut out caffeine, including dark chocolate. When I didn’t stick to my new routine, I would have a panic attack, which I’d assume was a heart attack, which would lead to more frequent episodes of panic.

It’s four decades since the travel writer last ventured on to the slopes. A resort in the Tirol is the perfect place to rediscover the joys of skiing

‘You’re mad!” Caroline the greengrocer said cheerfully when I told her I was going skiing. A reasonable reaction since not so long ago I was shopping on crutches following a hip replacement. My sister’s friends were more concerned: “How old are you? 80? I don’t think this is a good idea. You’ll fall and break something.” My brother, Andrew, 86, decided it was better not to tell anyone.

For at least two decades I’d had a half-buried wish to experience one more ski trip. A final fix of blue sky, frosty air and the exhilaration that comes with finding yourself still intact at the bottom of a snow-covered slope. I was never much good, and hadn’t skied for decades, but that wasn’t the point. At 83, I needed to see if I could still do it. And if I could do it, how about inviting my sister, Kate, one-third of our Old Crones group who encourage each other to do parkrun each week? Then I remembered that, as teenagers, Andrew had joined me on my first ski holiday. That was 67 years ago, but Andrew used to be quite good, so I invited him too. My friend Penny, who is so absurdly young (67, so she says) that she doesn’t really count, was also allowed to come and try her luck with the oldies and practise her German. We all made an effort to get as fit as possible, but none of us had skied for at least 40 years.

BPA, a synthetic chemical used in production of plastics, found in baby products made by three big European brands

A chemical linked to impaired sexual development, obesity and cancer has been found in baby dummies manufactured by three big European brands.

Dummies made by the Dutch multinational Philips, the Swiss oral health specialists Curaprox and the French toy brand Sophie la Girafe were found to contain bisphenol A (BPA), according to laboratory testing by dTest, a Czech consumer organisation. Philips said they had carried out subsequent testing and found no BPA, while Sophie la Girafe said the amount found was insignificant.

Counterinsurgency approaches have splintered in west Africa at the same time as terror threats have shifted southward

Among the thousands of refugees who have fled Mali since a jihadist uprising began more than a decade ago, one group is bound together by a grim commonality: their husbands are presumed dead or captured.

Amina (not her real name) is one of them.

From Viscri and Zalapatak to the 92 Club, test your knowledge with the Saturday quiz

1 Which seabird has the longest migration of any animal?
2 Who owns properties in the Romanian villages of Viscri and Zalanpatak?
3 What crime against orthography was pioneered by Buck Dharma’s band?
4 The xenomorph is the antagonist in which film series?
5 Which organ contains the islets of Langerhans?
6 Which ITN newscaster coined the term “body fascism” in 1980?
7 How do you join the 92 Club?
8 Which two Shakespeare plays are chiefly set in Turkey?
What links:
9 Lúcio Costa; Georges-Eugène Haussmann; Jane Jacobs; Robert Moses?
10 Mikaela Shiffrin (101) and Ingemar Stenmark (86)?
11 1951 Oscar-winning song; Dali’s 1954 self-portrait; Glass Onion; The Da Vinci Code; L.H.O.O.Q.?
12 Grose Bochse; Faule Grete; Mons Meg; Pumhart von Steyr; Tsar Pushka?
13 Kenny; Beric Dondarrion; Buffy Summers; Phil Coulson?
14 Pluot; Rangpur; tangelo; ugli; yuzu?
15 X (Sn); XXV (Ag); L (Au); LX (C); LXX (Pt)?

Updates from the series opener in Christchurch
Sign up for The Spin newsletter | And mail James

Like I said, don’t mention the little urn, no one else is. Nothing to see here.

As I namecheck Simon he sends me a lovely missive from the Hagley Oval. Well, lovely apart from the bit about the possibility of precipitation.

Kia Ora from lovely Christchurch. Such a lovely city to visit - everything’s wonderfully walkable, easily navigable and, at least until you get to the edge of town, completely flat (and those hills are also wonderfully walkable). It’s a sellout at Hagley Oval tonight and the grass banks that ring the ground are looking pretty full already, with half an hour until the start. It’s a beautiful ground but completely exposed and as such irredeemably useless in the event of rain - talking of which, there hasn’t been so much of a drop since England arrived here on Wednesday, but forecasts suggest that run - and, in cricketing terms, the runs - will end at around 9pm this evening. We’ll wait and see on that, it’s a near-perfect early evening as I type.”

Normalisation of far-right stances likely to affect success of such parties at ballot boxes across Europe, say researchers

Mainstream parties are increasingly allowing the far right to set the agenda, researchers in Germany have found, describing it as a shortcoming that had unwittingly helped the far right by legitimising their ideas and disseminating them more widely.

The findings, published in the European Journal of Political Research, were based on an automated text analysis of 520,408 articles from six German newspapers over the span of more than two decades.

Swap in, swap out and, above all, enjoy this punchy, filling and thrifty dish

No-waste cooking comes in many forms. It doesn’t have to mean cooking banana peel. To me, it means finishing a bag of potatoes before they grow eyes, and making the most of that last awkward bit of cabbage. Even finding a cheeky new way with the sauces and condiments already in the fridge. Using ingredients you’ve already got to make a new recipe is, in my opinion, the most “no waste” of them all. So here’s permission from me to make substitutes – herb for herb, veg for veg, or anything you’ve already got – to make this recipe work for you.

Join Meera Sodha at a special event celebrating the best of Guardian culture on Wednesday 26 November, hosted by Nish Kumar and alongside writers Stuart Heritage and Tim Dowling, with Georgina Lawton hosting You Be The Judge live. Live in London or via livestream – book tickets here.

Sally Carson’s Crooked Cross was written and set during the rise of nazism. It shows both how extremism takes hold, and the moral certainty needed to resist it

A few days ago I asked an American acquaintance – as one does these days – where he sees “it”, by which I meant the political situation, heading. He took a breath. “In my opinion, the US is in a very similar position to Germany in 1933-4,” he said. “And we have to ask, could 1936, 1937, 1938 have been avoided? That’s the point we are at. You can try to say fascism couldn’t happen in the US. But I think the jury’s out.”

His words seemed especially resonant to me because I had just finished reading a remarkable novel precisely to do with Germany in 1933-4, a book written in the former year and published in the latter. Forgotten for decades, Sally Carson’s Bavaria-set Crooked Cross was republished in April by Persephone Books, which specialises in reviving neglected works. Since then, it has been a surprise hit, a word-of-mouth jaw-dropper, passed from hand to hand.

The gig is at a literary festival, which makes me anxious. I’m never at ease among people who don’t suffer fools gladly

Many months ago the band I’m in was invited to play a gig at a literary festival in Greece. The date slotted nicely into our international tour schedule, between Brighton and Plymouth. But it butted up against my already booked holiday; I would have to fly home, spend 36 hours repacking and then fly straight to Greece. Mind you, I’m not complaining.

“It sounds like you’re complaining,” my wife says as we negotiate the duty free chicane at Gatwick. It is 4.30am, and the airport is rammed.

Emma, 32, a doctor, meets Julien, 41, an advertising creative

What were you hoping for?
Big love … but I was happy to settle for an evening of exchanging ideas and learning what makes a person tick.

Sally Wainwright brings us a superb drama about women of a certain age forming a punk band, and Nina Conti’s monkey makes for an unlikely movie star. Here’s the pick of the week’s culture, taken from the Guardian’s best-rated reviews

Waymo plans London robotaxis as early as 2026, but the history shows hype, hesitation and a few missed turns

The age-old question from the back of the car feels just as pertinent as a new era of autonomy threatens to dawn: are we nearly there yet? For Britons, long-promised fully driverless cars, the answer is as ever – yes, nearly. But not quite.

A landmark moment on the journey to autonomous driving is, again, just around the corner. This week, Waymo, which successfully runs robotaxis in San Francisco and four other US cities, announced it was bringing its cars to London.

The Met’s elite SO15 unit alleged a parliamentary researcher helped his friend create 34 reports for a shadowy front

For Christopher Cash it was а job he adored. The young parliamentary researcher, then in his late 20s, was a China specialist working successively for two influential backbenchers, Tom Tugendhat and Alicia Kearns. He had a parliamentary pass and was plugged into Westminster’s gossip network during 2022, a year of Conservative turmoil in Westminster, three prime ministers and future policy uncertainty.

At the same time, Cash was in close contact with a friend, Christopher Berry, a teacher based in Hangzhou, eastern China, where the Britons had first met five years earlier. They discussed politics constantly, using an encrypted app. At one point, on 18 July, Berry allegedly told him he had met a senior Chinese Communist party leader (though he now denies meeting anybody of that rank). In a reply the next day, Cash said: “You’re in spy territory now.”

Laid up with the flu? Suffering with a sore throat? From chicken bhuna to fire honey, this food should get you back on your feet

Hydrate with teas
For Dr Ricardo José, consultant in respiratory medicine, hydration is key: “It’s about taking frequent sips throughout the day to keep the mucous membranes moist.” Immunologist Dr Jenna Macciochi agrees, saying: “I often stir a spoonful of raw honey – nature’s soothing antimicrobial – into a cup of thyme tea (thyme steeped in water), which helps ease irritation and supports respiratory health. I also love marshmallow root tea, which is great for the mucous membranes.”

• Two-way star powers LA sweep of Brewers in NLCS

• Dodgers chase first repeat title since 2000 Yankees

• Ohtani hits three HRs, fans 10 in Game 4 clincher

Shohei Ohtani has propelled the Los Angeles Dodgers back to the World Series with a two-way performance for the ages.

Ohtani hit three mammoth homers and struck out 10 while pitching into the seventh inning, and the Dodgers swept the Milwaukee Brewers out of the NL Championship Series with a 5-1 victory in Game 4 on Friday night.

• Suárez hits go-ahead grand slam in five-run eighth

• Mariners move within one win of first World Series

• Seattle take 3-2 lead as ALCS heads back to Toronto

Eugenio Suárez’s second home run of the game, an eighth-inning grand slam, broke a tie as the Seattle Mariners defeated the Toronto Blue Jays 6-2 Friday to regain control of the American League Championship Series.

Cal Raleigh sparked the rally with a leadoff homer in the eighth as the Mariners took a 3-2 lead in the best-of-seven series.

• Young gun inspired by Healy’s back-to-back centuries and 7,000 international runs

• Australia has locked in semi-final place and next plays England

Phoebe Litchfield may go on to become an all-time batting star for Australia, but for the moment the young gun is simply enjoying the best view in the house as her fellow opener and skipper shows her the path to success.

Litchfield watched in awe from the other end as Alyssa Healy first caned India on Sunday then Bangladesh on Wednesday for thrilling back-to-back centuries that have helped to push the champions into the semi-finals in their Women’s Cricket World Cup title defence.

Red Cross passed coffin from Hamas to Israeli military, with the remains to go through a formal identification process

The Red Cross had handed over the body of another hostage from Gaza to the IDF, Israel said early on Saturday, amid a dispute over delays in the return of remains under the ceasefire deal between Hamas and Israel.

The Israeli military and security forces received the coffin from the Red Cross inside the Gaza Strip, and it was to be sent to the Ministry of Health’s National Center for Forensic Medicine in Israel. Israeli authorities said the family of the deceased would be notified first after a formal identification process.

The sweeping exhibition Monuments, which features 19 contemporary artists, opens in LA on 23 October

In 2021, the city of Charlottesville, Virginia, finally removed the Confederate statues that had inspired a series of violent and eventually deadly white supremacist rallies in 2017.

The statue of Robert E Lee, which had been surrounded by white men with torches in a famous far-right propaganda image, was melted down. But the statue of Confederate general Stonewall Jackson, which stood at the heart of a 2017 Ku Klux Klan rally, was given to a California-based arts non-profit, which pledged to use it for “transformation, not further veneration”.

Deal comes after county in April agreed to pay $4bn to settle historical claims – largest such settlement in US history

Six months after approving the largest sexual abuse settlement in US history, officials in Los Angeles announced the county tentatively agreed to pay another huge sum, nearly $1bn, to settle more than 400 additional claims against county employees.

In April, Los Angeles county approved a historic $4bn settlement with about 11,000 claimants and allegations of sexual abuse in LA juvenile facilities that dated back decades. On Friday, the county said it had reached another major settlement for $828m, pending approval by the board of supervisors, the county governing body, and the county claims board.

Former Republican US representative walks free after being sentenced in April to more than seven years in prison for deceiving donors and stealing identities of 11 people

Donald Trump announced on Friday he had commuted the sentence of George Santos, the disgraced former New York representative and serial fabulist who had been sentenced to more than seven years in prison after a short-lived political career marked by outlandish fabrications and fraudulent scheming.

Santos left the Federal Correctional Institution Fairton in New Jersey just hours later and was “on his way home”, his attorney Joseph Murray told Agence France-Presse by phone late on Friday.

Ex-Trump labor secretary Alex Acosta, in September testimony to lawmakers, defends not taking case to trial

Alex Acosta, the former US attorney for the southern district of Florida who negotiated a plea deal in 2008 with Jeffrey Epstein, testified before the House oversight committee last month that going to trial would have been a “crapshoot” due to lack of cooperation from victims.

In a transcript of the six-hour interview released on Friday, Acosta, who later served in the first Trump administration as labor secretary, described the evidentiary hurdles a federal prosecution of Esptein would have faced, and told why his office turned the case over to Florida state prosecutors, which resulted in the disgraced financier pleading guilty to charges of soliciting sex from a minor.